I was recently contacted by a distraught parent whose child had a horrendous experience during their swimming lesson. The swimming teacher threw water in the child’s face and then shouted at them to stop crying.
I’m sorry, but what the **** (beep)? This is NOT OK!
No parent should ever have to witness or hear about their child being treated this way. If your child has experienced something similar, please know that this is unacceptable, and you do not have to tolerate it.
What Should You Do If This Happens to Your Child?
Trust Your Instincts – If something feels wrong, it probably is. Your child deserves to feel safe and respected in their swimming lessons.
Speak Up Immediately – Approach the teacher or the swim school management and express your concerns. Be clear that this behaviour is not acceptable.
Request a Different Teacher – If your child’s teacher uses fear or force-based methods, ask to switch to an instructor who prioritises positive reinforcement and child-led learning.
Report the Incident – If the swim school does not take your concerns seriously, escalate the issue to higher authorities or governing bodies. No child should be subjected to intimidation or distress in the name of swimming education.
Consider Changing Swim Schools – A good swim programme will prioritise your child’s emotional and physical well-being. If the environment is not safe or supportive, look for a programme that respects and nurtures children.
Why Do Some Swimming Teachers Do This?
Some instructors call it “conditioning.” They believe that making children uncomfortable prepares them for accidental falls into water. You may hear:
“Children have to become comfortable with the uncomfortable.”
“I have to get them ready for when they fall in the pool.”
“It stops them from drowning.”
This is outdated and harmful thinking.
Fear Does NOT Equal Learning
Forcing a child into distress does not teach them water safety. It teaches them to fear the water. And fear-based learning is counterproductive. A child who is panicked will not learn essential skills—they will learn to associate water with anxiety, and that can have long-term consequences on their confidence and willingness to swim.
When a child cries in a swimming lesson, they are communicating their feelings. They might be scared, overwhelmed, or uncertain. The right response from a teacher should be one of patience, understanding, and guidance.
What a Good Swimming Lesson Should Look Like
Instead of fear and force, good swim teachers:
Acknowledge fear – “I can see you’re feeling a little unsure. That’s okay.”
Offer reassurance – “I’m here to help you. Let’s take it one step at a time.”
Use gradual exposure – Water should be introduced gently, at the child’s own pace.
Create a trust-based learning environment – The best swimmers are confident because they feel safe, not because they were forced.
Find the Right Teacher for Your Child
If your child’s current swimming teacher does not respect their emotions, it’s time to find one who does. Look for instructors who:
Use gentle, child-led approaches
Encourage play-based learning
Prioritise trust and emotional well-being
Support gradual confidence-building techniques
Happy child swimming
Advocate for Your Child
If your child is distressed in lessons, you have every right to step in and make changes. No child should ever leave a swimming lesson feeling humiliated, scared, or ashamed. If your child cries and their instructor responds with frustration instead of compassion, it’s time to act.
Swimming lessons should be a positive, confidence-building experience. If they aren’t, don’t hesitate to speak up, report, and move on. Your child’s well-being comes first.
If you are unfortunate and do not find a suitable pool by you that fits your needs then you may want to have a look at Tender Steps which is a book Helen wrote based on her 30 years of teaching experience. It is a self guided programme that you can move through within your own time when you go to the pool yourselves as a family. It provides you with a progressions and activities to do to assist and guide your child during their learn to swim journey.
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