As swimming teachers, we all want our swimmers to succeed, to build confidence, and to be safe in the water. But how do you handle the situation when a child starts to cry during a lesson?
I was recently contacted by a distraught parent whose child had a horrendous experience during their swimming lesson. The swimming teacher threw water in the child’s face and then shouted at them to stop crying. I’m sorry, but what the
(beep)? This is NOT OK.
If a child in your lesson is crying, the way you respond matters. It can either build trust and confidence or create a long-lasting fear of water.
Understanding Your Reactions
Ask Yourself: How Do You React When a Child Cries?
Do you acknowledge their emotions or dismiss them?
Do you offer comfort and reassurance or expect them to “get over it”?
Do you adapt your lesson to meet their emotional needs or force them to continue?
The Misguided Beliefs of Some Instructors
Why Do Some Swimming Teachers Get It Wrong?
Some instructors believe in a method called “conditioning.” You may have heard or even used phrases like:
“Children have to become comfortable with the uncomfortable.”
“I have to get them ready for when they fall in the pool.”
“It stops them from drowning.”
But here’s the truth: fear does NOT equal learning. Throwing water in a child's face or forcing unnecessary submersion against their will is not conditioning—it’s trauma-inducing. Forcing a child into distress does not teach them water safety. It teaches them to fear the water.
Fear-based learning is counterproductive. A panicked child does not absorb information. Instead, they associate water with anxiety, leading to avoidance, resistance, and long-term confidence issues. This emotional damage can prevent them from developing the necessary skills to swim safely.
Handling Crying in Lessons
A great swimming teacher understands that fear is a natural response. They know how to guide a child through it positively. Here’s what to do:
Acknowledge their feelings – “I can see you’re feeling a little unsure. That’s okay.”
Offer reassurance – “I’m here to help you. Let’s take it one step at a time.”
Use gradual exposure – Allow the child to move at a pace that feels manageable to them.
Create a trust-based learning environment – The best swimmers are confident because they feel safe, not because they were forced.
Encourage, don’t shame – Never use phrases like “stop crying” or “you’re fine.” Instead, help the child find calmness and control through playful, engaging methods.
Building Water Wisdom
The Importance of Water Wisdom and Layers of Protection
It is perfectly okay to wait for a child to become comfortable in the water. There is no need to rush the process or force submersion. Instead, layers of protection should be put in place to ensure safety while building confidence. These include:
Educating both parents and children on water safety and comfort.
Encouraging parental involvement in swimming lessons to reinforce positive experiences.
Using gentle, progressive methods to help children gradually adjust.
Ensuring that swimming lessons promote Water Wisdom—awareness, respect, and gradual adaptation to aquatic environments.
Fostering a Positive Learning Environment
Be the Teacher Who Builds Confidence and a Love for Water
Instead of frustration, choose patience. Instead of force, choose encouragement. If you find yourself losing patience or feeling frustrated when a child cries, take a step back. Reflect on how you can approach the situation differently.
A teacher who builds confidence understands that every child is unique and learns at their own pace. They focus on:
Creating joyful experiences – Make swimming lessons fun and engaging, so children associate the water with positive emotions.
Using play and exploration – Encourage curiosity through games and activities that build skills naturally.
Respecting individual readiness – Some children need more time to adjust, and that’s okay. Let them take small steps forward without pressure.
Building trust through consistency – When children feel safe and supported, they develop confidence in their abilities.
Encouraging autonomy – Give children choices in the lesson, allowing them to take ownership of their learning and feel empowered in the water.
The Results of Patience
A child who loves the water is a child who will keep coming back, learning, and developing skills. The best swimming teachers nurture this love by making lessons a place where children feel safe, valued, and encouraged. Swimming lessons should be a positive, confidence-building experience.
If you see a colleague using outdated and harmful methods, have the courage to speak up. Let’s ensure that every child has the chance to learn swimming in an environment that respects and nurtures them.
Join the SWIM Squad Membership!
Looking for fresh inspiration for your swimming lessons? The SWIM Squad Membership is packed with creative activities, themed lesson ideas, and engaging games to keep your swimmers motivated and progressing. But it’s more than just fun—inside, you’ll also find expert guidance, teaching strategies, and practical tips to help you refine your approach, adapt to different swimmers’ needs, and create truly effective lessons.
Stay inspired, save time planning, and gain the tools to make every session exciting and purposeful. Join today and take your teaching to the next level! Mini Water Adventurers
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